Bit of Encouragment...

How long, O LORD?

Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

How long shall I take counsel in my soul,

Having sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;

Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

And my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.

But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalms 13:1-6

Un-glued!

Today was like any other Sunday, well almost! Today was the first time since early October that I went back to Bethany for church. It was a strange stepping back into the place where I called home, but then packed my bags and moved on. It was strange seeing the expressions on people's face when they saw me. It was strange sitting with the youth and sharing highlights with them. It shouldn't of all been strange, but it was. It was like I was starting new, all over again. But I guess somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that going back to Bethany was not going to be the same!

Today's sermon hit me really hard today. As of right now I don't feel plugged in at Judson...I still feel like Bethany is my home and still my family! Pastor Tim is preaching about "Life in the Body of Christ" and today's sermon was on "Why join the Church?"

Here are the couple of key points that Pastor Tim gave about joining the church...

1. To Identify yourself as a genuine believer.

2. To gain a Spiritual Family to support and encourage you.

3. To develop spiritual Muscle.

4. To better accomplish God's Mission.

5. To help you keep from Backsliding.

6. The Body of Christ NEEDS YOU!!

As I sat there in service and thought about these things, I didn't really know where I belonged. God has called me over to Judson, but my family, my church, my heart is still at Bethany. I sat among my friends and the youth knowing that this could be one of the last times that I would sit with them in church, one of the last times I would share highlights with them, one of the last times I would tell them to "knock it off" in Sunday school, one of the last Sundays with them! There is lots in pain in saying bye and starting fresh. I am unsure that people truly understand the pain that I am going through as I make this new chapter in my life. This change is not easy for me and I don't think that it will ever be an easy change. Trust me, if God was not calling me away from the things I knew, I wouldn't be leaving. If I didn't have complete peace about leaving and knowledge that God is in control, I wouldn't be leaving. The list could go on and on about reasons I wouldn't be leaving, but let's face it...I am leaving!

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change my answer, make things back to how they were. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have spent so many hours crying and wondering if this was the right choice. Sometimes I wish that everyone could understand the reason I am leaving, and not make it harder than it already is. But I know that through the pain and suffering from this change I have been made stronger! I have learned that God wants me to step out into the unknown and have complete trust in Him! My true friends are sad to see me go, but excited to see what God has in store for me. As I step into the unknown, I know that God will not leave me and will ALWAYS be there for me!

A New Chapter...

Chapters in our lives open and close, even if we aren't ready for them! For me a chapter is closing in my life, while another one is opening. I can honestly say that this new chapter is going to be more challenging, more of a time commitment, and me stepping outside my confront zone!!

The last 2 years I have called Bethany Baptist and Crosswalk my family. They have been a huge blessing in my life, and wouldn't change anything...OK, almost anything :-) But now I am saying my "good byes" and moving on to a new church and a new youth group. Why, you may ask? At the other church I have been offered a position that I can't say no to. This position is going to open a HUGE ministry door for me and GOD WANTS ME TO TAKE IT!! When this offer was first talk about, I thought nothing of it...I didn't want to leave everything I knew to start fresh! But after many hours of prayer and talking to many wise people, I knew that this is where God was leading me. Some times I wish that the change hadn't happen, and other times I am jumping out of my skin with excitment!! As last Sunday approached I didn't want to do it...I didn't want to tell them that I was leaving...I didn't want to face them...I didn't want to cry any more tears...I didn't want things to change! As I stood the in front of them I got teary eyed, but I told myself that I couldn't cry until after I was finished. As I finished Pj came up and started talking and then prayed over me. To be honest I don't really remember what he said...I was too busy trying to calm myself down. The tears started flowing when he got up to talk and didn't stop for awhile. My 7th grade girls, gave me a hug and I started crying all over again...it was a very long day!

One of my youth said, "this sucks (i can't really remember how many times he said that), but they are getting an amazing person!' I was having the same feelings at first..."this sucks...I don't really want to do this God...please, let there be another way!" But God said, "I need you to do this Maria...I need to step out in faith and trust me that I have everything under control. Do you understand me, Maria?" "Lord, I do understand you. I am stepping out into the unknown, knowing that You know that everything is going to be great!"

As I step out into the unknown, I know that things will be fine with God on my side. I also know that I have a whole lot of people of praying for me, and backing me up! I know that the relationships that I have made at Crosswalk will not end just because I am not there. I know that there will be many more late nights, inside jokes, trips to the coast, trips to Silver Falls, La Perla runs, movie nights, pranks, etc.

I thank you guys for being amazing to me over the last two years and really happy that I have another 2 years in Salem :-) Love you guys!

The Trip that Changed my Life!

The last 15 days have been amazing...I don't think that there are even words to explain it!! Going back to Salem to spend a extra couple of days with everyone before we headed to Mexico! It was great to see everyone again for at least for a couple of days...good thing I am going back on Sunday :-) The week was filled with hanging out with Melody and Sarah, going to National Night Out at the church, playing Ultimate (being plowed over by Cameron), swimming at Jack and Ben's house, and running around town with Hannah. The week by all too fast, but the fun wasn't over yet. On the 8th, we loaded the van with 24 suitcases, at least 20 carry-on's, and 13 people. Our mission trip was starting with a 13 hour trip to Guadalajara and then a 3 hour car trip to Autlan. The team was full of energy and couldn't wait to see the Bruggeman family. It seemed like we were never going to get there, but after many hours we made it!! After traveling for like 13 hours, we still had to go through customs...that line was really long...I have gone through customs many of times, but this was the worst time ever!!! After making sure that we had all 24 suitcases and all 13 of us, we headed out the doors to find Rick and Jess! After embracing each other for a couple of minutes we headed out to get our rental cars, so that we could head to the Bruggeman's to rest! After waiting about 3 hours (give or take) for the cars, we finally loaded into the cars and headed to their house:-) While most everyone rested, some of us headed out of the house to hang out. There is this mountain behind the Burggeman's house, that we decided we wanted to climb it. Word to the wise, don't climb in flip flops!! Going up the mountain was not the problem, the problem was coming down the mountain...Brent and I had an amazing talk as went slowly made our way down the mountain. After spending a couple more hours in Guadalajara, we loaded back into the cars for about 3 hour car trip to Autlan. once we got there we settled into our rooms and took some showers:-)
Sunday marked the first "real" day that we were in Autlan and the start of our ministry. We headed to La Roca for church...one of the other missionaries started this coffee house when they have church and teach English classes and then that evening we went to another church where we would be doing VBS all week!! Monday we started the morning by walking up and down the streets inviting the kids to come...most of the kids that we talked to did come to VBS!! The rest of the afternoon was spent getting ready for VBS and playing Rook (the game choice for the trip)! Tuesday through Friday were pretty much the same...VBS in the morning and then a work project in the afternoon. The work projects ranged from cleaning up the center to fixing up the Clark's house (another missionary family down in Autlan) to doing projects at the church. There are some great memories from those work days...picking up a bag of poop, the million of fire ants under the bushes, almost using up all our showering water, paint fight with Sarah, skinny man, the car rides to and from the Clark's!
VBS was pretty much awesome...the kids didn't care that most of us couldn't speak Spanish, but loved that we were playing with them!! One little boy, Pedro, attached himself to me...that would be boyfriend number 22...haha! He is learning English, so all the words that he did know he told them to me...it was great! It was really hard saying good bye to Pedro on Friday, but I know that I will get to see him again someday. VBS was full of crafts, songs, puppet shows, the Wordless Book, snacks, and of course futbol!
After an amazing week in Autlan, we loaded back into the cars and headed back to Guadalajara. Before we go to Guadalajara, we got to spend the day at the Augua Caliente, a water park. It was very nice to relax and have some fun after a full week! The water park gave most of us a few scrapes and bruises, but besides that the day was great! On Sunday we went to the church, went shopping, and had a car tour of downtown Guadalajara. The time in Guadalajara went by all too fast, but many memories were made...like about a hour of taking pictures while waiting for the rest of the group shopped, the talks on the hammock, the walks at night and just being together!
The trip went by all too fast, and when it was time to go I didn't want to leave! I learned so much on this trip...during the week we were reminded that God knows us better than we know ourselves. That sometimes we just need to sit down and listen to what God is telling us. And that if God is calling you to missions than you need to obey. Besides learning those things during morning worship, I learned a lot from the kids that came to VBS. It didn't matter that we couldn't understand each other, they did understand we were there to love on them.
Our last devotional hit me really hard, and it changed my heart! Here is what it said... "Many years ago, Brother Lester Roloff confronted people with this challenge: 'Either start a children's home or support mine.' So it is with missions; there are those who will read these few pages and see a vision of prayerfully and financially helping in the missions programs. There will be others who will see the need in an entirely different light and say with Isaiah, 'Here am I; send me.'" The scripture was Isaiah 6:5-8...verse 8 says "Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying 'Whom shall I send and who will go for Us?' Then I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" Before this trip, missions was just one of my passions, and I thought that it was always going to be one of my passions. But throughout this trip, I now know that God is calling me into missions. My studies, which in 2 years will give me a degree in youth and family ministry, and I can use that any where that God calls me. This trip changed my life and now I am saying, "Lord, here am I; send me!"

The summer comes to an end here in Tahoe..

In less than 2 weeks, my summer here in Tahoe will end. I will leave my job, leave my friends, leave Tahoe, and leave my family! I have spent 3 wonderful months at home...ups and downs included, but all times must come to an end! The list of memories that we were made this summer get longer and longer everyday and will keep going until the day I leave for Oregon! Days at the beach, hiking to the top of Castle Rock, nights at Danielle's house, $2.99, coffee talks, birthday fun, dog/house sitting (oh the stories!), spending the nights, the day at the water park, camping, movie nights, the car trips, stargazing at the beach, and just being together. This summer was one of the hardest yet....not having Danielle around to hang out with, marking the one year since Kimberly died, and all four of us together for only 3 weeks this whole summer!!

But I do know that the time we did spend together has been great!! I am sure going to miss these girls in August, for when I get back it will be time for everyone to head back to school. I am very thankful to have such a wonderful group of friends here in Tahoe and I am also very very thankful that I have my family here too!

The month of August will be the most thrilling and packed month this summer!! Why, you ask? Well, I get to go back to Salem for a week to hang out with "the gang" before me and a group of 12 others head to Mexico for a mission trip!!! This trip didn't seem like it was ever going to happen when summer started, and even now with it being 3 weeks away it doesn't seem real!! I mean I get to spend time with the youth and some adults for 10 days and see Jess!! The last time I saw Jess was in March while on Spring Break Mission Trip, so seeing her again will be wonderful. I am also very excited to see every one up in Salem too, I am glad that I get to spend an extra week up there:-) Once I come back from Mexico, its 6 days in Tahoe and then back to Salem for school...which means more time with the middle schoolers and "the gang!" Even though I had a wonderful time here at home, I am looking forward to the month of August and the memories to go along with it!

Doesn't Matter the Distance...

Thousands of miles are between me and most of my friends this summer!!

Let me start with my Tahoe friends...Danielle, Hannah and Kristin!

Danielle is spending her summer in Kenya on a mission trip! I am really sad that we only got to spend 3 weeks together for the whole summer, but I am very excited to hear about her summer when we are together again! Its been really nice to get a few email from her letting us know that she is safe and sound! I miss her like crazy, this is the furthest that we have been apart in the 18 years of knowing each other...so it will be wonderful to be back together again!!!!

Hannah and Kristin are spending their summer here in Tahoe, which is wonderful!!!! This summer marks one year since Kimberly dies. We are dealing with together, we keep each other strong! I am very excited to spend a couple more weeks with them before I head to Mexico for my mission trip! Without these 3 girls coming home wouldn't be the same! I love these girls to death :-D

Moving on to Oregon...

I would be here all night, if I named each one of my friends by name! I am going to group them into the middle schoolers and the high schoolers!

My Middle Schoolers...

Its hard to believe that it has been a year and half since I started working with you guys! You guys mean the world to me!! Its hard it think that some of you are moving on up to the high school youth group in the fall...it makes me sad to think about it:-( I am going to miss having them around each week at CW and Sunday School, but they will still be around!! You guys have been such a blessing in my life and I am so thankful that I gotten to know you!

The High Schoolers...

Where to begin?? I guess it all started in March when we went to Tecate on spring break mission trip! It was amazing time and I guess it all started there! On the trip down I didn't really know any of them, but 2 days in the vans and a week in Tecate changed all that...and I am very thankful for that!! Since Tecate we have spent many hours together doing all kinds of things like...going to the park, going to the coast, watching movies, hanging with my sister, going to Silver Falls, going to the La Perla, and of course all the inside jokes:-D You guys will never know how much you have impacted my life, there are not words!!! I am very excited to spend 10 days with some of them in Mexico on a mission trip, but I am even more excited that I get to spend an extra week in Salem before we go to Mexico!! I can't wait to see you guys...miss you like crazy! Love ya<3

Moving to Mexico...Last but not Least!

Last November we had a family from my church move to Mexico to serve as missionaries. I didn't really know the family that well, I would say that I knew Brent the most due to the fact that he was in the middle school youth group! It was a week before we were going to Mexico, and all the high schoolers were excited because someone was coming to visit! I didn't really know her, but all the excitement rubbed off on me! Once in Tecate, we found out that we so much alike! While on the mission trip we were given the nickname of "OCD Buddies!" The trip ended and Jess went back to Mexico and we went back to Salem, but the growing of our friendship had just started! It has been great getting to know Jess over the last couple of months, I am very thankful for the Internet and the phone! Jess has been such an encouragement to me and has helped me out a lot! I am very thankful that I meet Jess and very excited to see her in August...yeah!!!! I heart you OCD Buddy! I can't wait to see you...1 month and 13 days :-D

It doesn't matter the distance between us, because where ever we are we are friends! I love you guys to death and so thankful to call you all my friends!!

From Tahoe to Kenya!

As my phone went off that early Friday morning, I knew that it was going to be the toughest morning yet. Not only had I not gotten enough sleep, I had to say bye to my best friend for the summer. I knew that the tears that I had fought back the night before couldn't be contained any more. I had fought the tears all night long as Danielle had said her byes the guys. The time came for me to leave, and I lost it. As we held each other in our arms, we knew that this was going to the the toughest, but most rewarding summer in the 18 years of friendship. See Danielle is going on a 7 week mission trip to Kenya! She is spending her summer serving the Lord where He has called her. Out of the 18 years of friendship, this summer will be the first summer that we are not together, the furthest distance between us, and also the most AMAZING summer!! To make Danielle's last day in Tahoe the best we spent it at the beach with friends, and then hiked/rock climbed to the top of Castle Rock, and then spent the night together!! Hiking up to Castle Rock was a little long and then the rock climb didn't make the hike any better. But when we got up there and watched the sunset, it reminded me of how WONDERFUL God is and how He shows himself day after day. It gave me a peace about Danielle leaving for the whole summer. It gave me peace knowing that God called Danielle to Kenya and I don't need to worry about her. God is in total control and there is no need to worry. I am human, so of course I am going to worry, but not as much because I know that God is in control. And as I sat there and watched the sun fade, I sat there with a thankful heart. I was thankful that God is soo amazing! Thankful that I have such wonderful friends! Thankful that my friend is following the call of Christ. Thankful that when we get together again we are both going to have amazing stories from our mission trips!! Yes, the next 10 weeks are going to be tough without Danielle being around. But I know that this trip and this summer are going to be AMAZING for her!