Door's Open...Door's Shut!

The thoughts still aren't clear on what is happening. I just know that for the last two weeks I have been trying to keep my emotions in check...but I am losing this battle as July 30th is approaching quickly! Life as I have known it for the last two years is coming to a quick end...July 30th, my last day.

But before I explain we need to go back 2 years! Let's go back to the fall of 2008...I was sitting in class when a ministry door was opened. Here is how it went down...

P: "Maria, are you still working at Bethany?"

M: "Yes. Why?"

P: "Oh, I am looking for an intern to work with me."

M: "Oh..."

P: "It's a paid internship!"

M: "OH, REALLY?!?!"

P: "Yeah..."

M:"I'll think about..."

The next thing I knew I was talking to my dad, Baker, and some friends about making the move from Bethany to Judson. It all seemed to happen all so fast. Before I knew it I was saying bye to a group of amazing young people and saying hello to another group of young people. I had made one of the biggest ministry choices of my college career...I choose to become Paul's intern. At the time I made that I choice I wasn't all that sure I made the right choice. But after two years,

I KNOW I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE!!!

But now, everything changes yet again. About a month ago the church had some hard decisions to make...the church has been struggling financially for many months now and something had to give. The thing that gave? The youth pastor position! Which means that my time as Paul's intern is coming to an end. There are no words to describe how meaningful and wonderful the last two years have been. I have been truly blessed with the time I have spent working along side Paul in ministry! I have learned so much and know that what I have learned will be used again in the future! Thank you for making my time at Judson wonderful! I have been blessed with an OUTSTANDING youth pastor and AMAZING youth!! We have made some crazy awesome memories, have a billion inside jokes, and even have a song that describes our youth pastor and group!

Here are just a few of the crazy awesome memories or inside jokes!

Beach Retreat: Battering Ram. Frosting fight. The Office game. Eric's black eye. Late night kitchen talks.
Rock and Worship Roadshow: crazy lady behind us. long lines.
THE GAME THAT CAN'T BE NAMED...Enough said!
Youth Group Games: full-contact fruit basket. trash can game. dodge ball. four-square. slip n' slide.
Un4gettables!!
"That's what she said..."
"Smile, Jesus loves White people!"
Sushi and chop stick lessons instead of Bible Study :-)
New Year's Eve Lock-In: Amazing Race (way too many eggs!). Fear Factor (nasty shakes!). Running Man. Orange Peel eating.
Bible Study :-)
Firework Stand: longest 2 weeks of the summer! 16 hour days! too many board/card games. complaints.
Lastly...
I'LL MAKE AN ASIAN OUT OF YOU!!!

As you read this list, you might wonder WHAT IN THE WORLD?!? We did do some pretty crazy things, so if you really want to know I would be more than happier to share...but just remember you may not fully understand the impact that event has had on our lives!

My plans...as I wait on God's timing!

I am excited for what God has in store for me now. I am in the middle of applying to go overseas to do youth ministry on Military bases either in Germany or Japan (I would love to go to Germany because I have family close by!)!! So as I wait to see God's hand in this, I will be heading back to Bethany! I am excited to go back to "my youth"...even though things have changed quite a bit in two years! I am excited to be serving God with yet another passionate youth pastor and church staff! I am excited to see where God takes me...either here in Salem at Bethany or around the world!

Oregon Bucket List!!

I have been in Oregon for 4 years and it has been great! But there has been things I have wanted to do and haven't been able to! So the goal is to accomplish this list before I leave Oregon...which gives me at least another year to have some Oregon fun!

Go Shooting: JULY 30th, 2010

Go four wheeling

Go to Newport and the Newport Aquarium

Go camping

Go to Seattle

Go to Pike Place Market

Go to the Portland Zoo

Go see Christmas lights at the Zoo

Go Caving

Go to Mount Hood

Go to Crater Lake

Go to Sunriver

Go to Tillamook Cheese factory

Go to the International Rose

Go to the Dunes

Underground tours in Pendleton

Raft down The Shoots

Baking: pie, cookies, brownies

Learn how to change a tire

Go to the Drag Strip

Go to a Swap Meet: April 25, 2010

Learn to play pool: May 8, 2010

It's been way to long...

It has been a long while since I posted last. It has been a super busy year, but it's all over!! Summer is here and "school's out for summer. school's out FOREVER!" Yup, that's right...I graduated from college! Here are some highlights from this past year!

1. I spent a long weekend in Idaho visiting Reagan!

and saw Megan too!

2. I got to spend some time with Bauga-hof-man on my way home from Idaho!!

3. I got to spend a whole week with my parents in Salem!

4. I spent the day with these amazing girls and we saw SHAWN MCDONALD!

5. Ashley came from Texas to visit!

6. I spent my first Thanksgiving away from my family and spent it with my adoptive family!

7. I went home for a quick Christmas trip...saw family and friends!

8. Spent New Year's Eve with my youth for my first New Year's Eve All-Nighter!

9. Spent time with the boys I have been watching for 3 years now!

10. Spent lots of time with friends from school!

11. Zia Laura came up to spend some time with me!

12. I went to Vancouver, BC for the Winter Olympics!!

13. Senior Banquet

14. Student Ministry Banquet

15. I GRADUATED FROM CORBAN UNIVERSITY!!!

A Psalm of Thanksgiving

I hadn't slept well since the news. It was the only thing on my mind. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't take in the facts or more like I didn't want to take in the facts. It was just another morning. It was just another meeting with my youth pastor. It was just another chance to have God tell me that He's right next to me every step of the way!

It's funny how God shows us that, isn't it?!? I woke up Thursday morning tired and grouchy. The morning had come too early...it could be blamed on the 5 hours of sleep I had gotten that night. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I didn't want to do my devotions. I made myself get up and get ready, with time to kill. As much as I didn't want to pick my Bible up and start reading, I knew that I should. I opened my Bible and knew that I was doing my devotions half-heartly...but I kept reading. I first read Psalm 99 and nothing really jumped out at me. Before I even started reading Psalm 100, the title of the chapter caught my attention "A Psalm for Thanksgiving." I pondered that title for a few minutes...and kept reading. I couldn't even get past the second verse before I had to stop! "Serve the LORD with gladness; come before Him with a joyful singing." Come before Him with a joyful singing...I had come to God that morning not with a joyful song but a sad/mad/frustrated/confused/etc song. I wasn't looking at the GREAT things that God was/is going to do in this time...I was focusing on the negative stuff. But it's great getting those little reminders that we are part of God's family and He isn't going to leave us. We should find ways to bless His name even in the times where you don't know up from down. It may not be an easy task, but in the long run it's totally worth it! His lovingkindness is everlasting and so should our praises!

Psalm 100-A Psalm for Thanksgiving.

Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth.

Serve the LORD with gladness;

Come before Him with joyful singing.

Know that the LORD Himself is God;

It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;

We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving

And His courts with praise

Give thanks to Him, bless His name.

For the LORD is good;

His lovingkindness is everlasting

And His faithfulness to all generations.

Bit of Encouragment...

How long, O LORD?

Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

How long shall I take counsel in my soul,

Having sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;

Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

And my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.

But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalms 13:1-6

Un-glued!

Today was like any other Sunday, well almost! Today was the first time since early October that I went back to Bethany for church. It was a strange stepping back into the place where I called home, but then packed my bags and moved on. It was strange seeing the expressions on people's face when they saw me. It was strange sitting with the youth and sharing highlights with them. It shouldn't of all been strange, but it was. It was like I was starting new, all over again. But I guess somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that going back to Bethany was not going to be the same!

Today's sermon hit me really hard today. As of right now I don't feel plugged in at Judson...I still feel like Bethany is my home and still my family! Pastor Tim is preaching about "Life in the Body of Christ" and today's sermon was on "Why join the Church?"

Here are the couple of key points that Pastor Tim gave about joining the church...

1. To Identify yourself as a genuine believer.

2. To gain a Spiritual Family to support and encourage you.

3. To develop spiritual Muscle.

4. To better accomplish God's Mission.

5. To help you keep from Backsliding.

6. The Body of Christ NEEDS YOU!!

As I sat there in service and thought about these things, I didn't really know where I belonged. God has called me over to Judson, but my family, my church, my heart is still at Bethany. I sat among my friends and the youth knowing that this could be one of the last times that I would sit with them in church, one of the last times I would share highlights with them, one of the last times I would tell them to "knock it off" in Sunday school, one of the last Sundays with them! There is lots in pain in saying bye and starting fresh. I am unsure that people truly understand the pain that I am going through as I make this new chapter in my life. This change is not easy for me and I don't think that it will ever be an easy change. Trust me, if God was not calling me away from the things I knew, I wouldn't be leaving. If I didn't have complete peace about leaving and knowledge that God is in control, I wouldn't be leaving. The list could go on and on about reasons I wouldn't be leaving, but let's face it...I am leaving!

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change my answer, make things back to how they were. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have spent so many hours crying and wondering if this was the right choice. Sometimes I wish that everyone could understand the reason I am leaving, and not make it harder than it already is. But I know that through the pain and suffering from this change I have been made stronger! I have learned that God wants me to step out into the unknown and have complete trust in Him! My true friends are sad to see me go, but excited to see what God has in store for me. As I step into the unknown, I know that God will not leave me and will ALWAYS be there for me!

A New Chapter...

Chapters in our lives open and close, even if we aren't ready for them! For me a chapter is closing in my life, while another one is opening. I can honestly say that this new chapter is going to be more challenging, more of a time commitment, and me stepping outside my confront zone!!

The last 2 years I have called Bethany Baptist and Crosswalk my family. They have been a huge blessing in my life, and wouldn't change anything...OK, almost anything :-) But now I am saying my "good byes" and moving on to a new church and a new youth group. Why, you may ask? At the other church I have been offered a position that I can't say no to. This position is going to open a HUGE ministry door for me and GOD WANTS ME TO TAKE IT!! When this offer was first talk about, I thought nothing of it...I didn't want to leave everything I knew to start fresh! But after many hours of prayer and talking to many wise people, I knew that this is where God was leading me. Some times I wish that the change hadn't happen, and other times I am jumping out of my skin with excitment!! As last Sunday approached I didn't want to do it...I didn't want to tell them that I was leaving...I didn't want to face them...I didn't want to cry any more tears...I didn't want things to change! As I stood the in front of them I got teary eyed, but I told myself that I couldn't cry until after I was finished. As I finished Pj came up and started talking and then prayed over me. To be honest I don't really remember what he said...I was too busy trying to calm myself down. The tears started flowing when he got up to talk and didn't stop for awhile. My 7th grade girls, gave me a hug and I started crying all over again...it was a very long day!

One of my youth said, "this sucks (i can't really remember how many times he said that), but they are getting an amazing person!' I was having the same feelings at first..."this sucks...I don't really want to do this God...please, let there be another way!" But God said, "I need you to do this Maria...I need to step out in faith and trust me that I have everything under control. Do you understand me, Maria?" "Lord, I do understand you. I am stepping out into the unknown, knowing that You know that everything is going to be great!"

As I step out into the unknown, I know that things will be fine with God on my side. I also know that I have a whole lot of people of praying for me, and backing me up! I know that the relationships that I have made at Crosswalk will not end just because I am not there. I know that there will be many more late nights, inside jokes, trips to the coast, trips to Silver Falls, La Perla runs, movie nights, pranks, etc.

I thank you guys for being amazing to me over the last two years and really happy that I have another 2 years in Salem :-) Love you guys!